Choices

Krev hurries the drakes back up the mountain road. In the wagon, Zal lies unconscious, with their head and neck held straight between Razha’s thighs for support, as Razha looks down on their face. Just like when they are sleeping, they look so peaceful and calm. Another drop of blood spills from the edge of their mouth, and Razha reaches down to gently wipe it clean. There is nothing restful about their sleep. Their head is wrapped in white gauze. The area around their ears is still stained red, although Filla said the bleeding there has stopped.

Filla splinted their arm using their own sheathed knife and tied it close to their body with a sling made from part of their shirt. That never changes about Zal, whatever they carry becomes part of them somehow, like they always said, the world blends into them.

“Damn it, Zal,” Razha says, wiping tears from her eyes. “It was because of my plan that--”

“It was a good plan, Razha,” Filla says, checking Zal’s pulse at their right wrist again. “We overlooked one small detail.”

“Human cowardice,” Razha says. “I should have known. Have I completely forgotten what it was like before the war?”

“Even with that mistake, Zal saved us all. If all that black death was violently thrown all over the place, there’s no telling what could happen,” Krev says.

“Will they be okay, Filla?” Razha looks into her brown eyes, holding back more tears. “I know I keep asking, I just...”

Filla scans Zal’s body with her eyes, with a look of worry on her face. “I wouldn’t lie to you Razha. I really don’t know. If their injuries are mostly what we see on the outside, then yes, probably they’ll be back with us soon. But we can’t see the extent of the internal damage, or the head trauma, and of course the spine. It’s just too soon. I can’t promise you anything, it would be dishonest.”

“Thank you Filla. You and Perra are the finest medics I ever worked with. And Kurri is inexperienced but he has a lot of knowledge. I know they’re in the best hands they could be in,” Razha says, looking back down at their face.

“Are you going to be okay, Razha?” Filla says.

“I wasn’t injured at all,” Razha says.

“Yes you were,” Filla says. “Not physically.” She reaches out to take Razha’s hand between both of hers. “Medics also find themselves in the position of supporting our strikers’ mental health, more often than most of us were prepared for. But don’t hesitate to come talk to me, Razha, you’re my comrade and I love you.”

“Filla...” She clutches Zal’s good hand in one hand and Filla’s in the other. “I love you, thank you for being my comrade. I’m sorry for being such a fucking mess. I never let anyone see me so weak and broken. Anyone but just a few people.”

“Aw, Razha, nobody’s strong all the time. We all look up to your strength but we don’t none of us think you’re more than human. Let us support you this time,” Filla says. “Take a few days off and rest.”

“Is that a medic’s order?”

“I’m an anarchist, I don’t give orders,” Filla says. “But it is a very hard ask.”

“Maybe, I--” Razha freezes, turning her head to the sky.

Filla hears it too, and starts scanning the clouds above them. A low droning sound breaks the silence of the mountain air, the roar of an engine, from the east.

Razha takes Zal’s spyglass out of the pocket they keep it in. She extends it with a swing of her wrist and takes a look.

“Can’t be no train coming, after what we pulled,” Krev says.

“Ain’t no train,” Razha says. Then she sees it flying over the mountaintops, a tiny “V” in the sky, flying their way. “Airship.”

“Don’t suppose it’s a civilian ship,” Krev says.

“Not a chance,” Razha says. “No mistaking the sound--military, Wyvern class. Fuck! I thought we might have more time before they showed up.”

“Headed for Korben,” Filla says.

“Filla, switch me spots,” Razha says. She holds Zal’s head in place and carefully moves her legs back, as Filla slides into her spot and takes their head with her own hands. Then Razha picks up her rifle and slings it over her back. “Stop the cart, Krev.”

“What the Hel are you doing, Razha?” Filla says.

“I have to get down there, they’re gonna need every striker they can get.”

“I think that’s a bad idea, Razha. You’re in no shape to fight,” Filla says.

She climbs over the rail and puts her boots down on the ground. “I can’t lose anyone else today.”

Filla looks down at her, looking worried. “What about the K.R.A. agreement, nobody goes in alone?”

“You two need to get Zal to camp. I won’t engage until I link up with our comrades.”

“Razha...” Filla says.

“There ain’t no stopping that girl when she has that look,” Krev says. “Good luck, comrade.”

“Thanks Krev.”

“I can’t stop you, so please be safe,” Filla says. “Stick with Kurri, I do not want another severe trauma case brought to my tent tonight, okay?”

“I’ll be careful,” Razha says. “Go, you have to take care of Zal. Please, take care of them.”

“I will, Razha, but take care of yourself,” Filla says.