Starflower Seeds

Zal and Nadia are laying on a dry canvas tarp underneath the branches of two overlapping trees near the campsite. Rain washes over the layers of leaves above them with a hypnotic sound. Zal turns their head over to see Razha running toward them through the rain, clutching something wrapped up in cloth in her arms. She gets under the shelter and slows to a walk.

“Northern spring y’all, what can I say.” She sits down with them and throws her heavy black coat onto the side of the tarp. Her jacket underneath is mostly dry, but her hair is soaked. She takes her long braid and wrings water out of it.

“I remember in Talheim camp we’d get so sweaty and muddy crawling around those woods all the time that the rain was a welcome relief,” Zal says.

“Oh yeah in the summer, but the winter rain was brutal,” Razha says.

“It is so wet all the time in this country,” Nadia says. “I will never be used to it.”

“But what’s better than a warm summer rain, Nadia?” Zal says.

“I thought you liked the sun,” Nadia says.

“Now don’t accuse me of being unfaithful to the sun,” Zal says, “she’ll always be my greatest love. But sunshine after a rain like this, that will be truly unbeatable.”

“I have something better,” Razha says, unwrapping a small glass jar full of a yellow-brown liquid.

“What has Dr. Koronova brought us today?” Zal says.

“Starflower seed extract,” Razha says. “Perra dropped me a little gift from the garden before he left, and I did just a little alchemy.”

“Ooh, Razh’s alchemicals,” Zal says.

“I have not done something like this since Misthaven,” Nadia says.

“We’ve got the boys away on an errand, we’ve got Kalen and Annia watching the gate. Y’all, it’s our day off, just us. Let’s make it unforgettable because it doesn’t happen often.”

“Let’s go,” Zal says.

Razha unscrews the jar, raises it to her face and drinks about a third of the liquid. Her eyes shut tight and her face twists into an agonized shape of disgust, and she rips it away from her and holds it out to Nadia. Nadia takes a deep breath and forces down her share. She unleashes a string of Sabakuan curses as soon as she’s swallowed it, and she hands it to Zal.

They look down into the murky liquid. It smells of strong alcohol. They lean their head back and take the rest of the jar. It tastes like fire and rotten vegetables all at once, it is so bitter they can barely finish it, and focus hard on not immediately throwing it up. They slam the empty jar down on the ground and exhale.

“Sorry y’all, alchemy ain’t a culinary art,” Razha says.

“It is the dreamer’s price,” Nadia says.

Zal lies back down and stares up at the maze of green leaves above. Starflower seeds take at least thirty minutes to take effect. All the Zals in them wait in limbo between the mundane and the impending surreality--the tranquility of anticipating of a journey like this.

Razha extends her hand and Nadia takes it, and she lies down in between the two of them. With her eyes closed, she reaches out aimlessly until Zal takes her other hand. “Comrades,” she says.

Zal stares up, mesmerized by the drone of the falling rain on the treetops, losing track of time. Eventually the web of leaves starts to subtly ripple outward like water. They feel very relaxed as the sound of rain gives rhythm to the flow of colors in the trees and the moss and the vibrant grey clouds. Each side of Zal inside them is blending into each other, and they feel for the moment as one Zal.

They sit up. The other two seem to be starting to notice it too--Nadia waves her back and forth hand in front of her eyes, mesmerized, and Razha is gently rocking from side to side, moving her fingers around Zal’s hand and over their skin.

“Oh, you know what’s really fucking good on starflowers?” Zal says. The others look over at them, with patterns starting to form in their skin. “Rain!” They stand up, swaying a little as the green world shifts and flows around them. They take off their big jacket of orderless patches and pull their similarly barely sewn together shirt over their head.

“Zal, you’re so very, very Zal,” Razha says, seemingly fixated on their skin. It must be turning into a fascinating pattern to her eyes too. She starts to unbutton her black jacket as well.

Zal gets out of their boots and their pants and runs out on the moss under the torrent. They spin themself around and feel the impact of a million little worlds colliding with their skin. The water running down their body feels like joy. Razha’s hand grabs theirs and pulls them into her little universe. She looks as beautiful as the sunset as the rain ripples through her brown skin and an aura of iridescent light radiates off of her shape.

They collide and they kiss, pressing their skin together. Nadia appears from behind her and wraps her arms around Razha’s body, sliding her hands between hers and Zal’s chests. The water seeps into the patterns of their beings, and their bodies join together and become one with each other, and one with the mountain, the rain, and the sky.

They lose the position of the ground in each others embraces and fall to the wet, soft moss. To Zal, the world beyond the mountaintop ceases to be relevant, then ceases to exist. There is no empire and no war. There is only the cascading music of the rain, the welcoming embrace of the moss rippling like ocean waves, and the smooth, soft texture of girls’ skin under rivers of light. There is only love.