Innocence

Razha awoke to a bright light in her eyes, the morning sun reflecting off the snow through her apartment window. She pulled the covers over her head to hide from the cold. She was sure she’d been having an interesting dream. Usually she recalled them vividly, but this one escaped her. She had been distracted lately.

She rolled over up against the warm body next to her. She put her arm around the girl, facing away from her, and pulled her closer until the warmth of her skin could warm her up. Razha buried her face in her short blonde hair. It was so cute all messed up like this, short enough that it would stick up and go every direction. The texture was so soft, if only Razha’s hair could ever be so soft.

She stirred at Razha’s touch and reached up to find her hand and slip her fingers into the spaces between hers. She picked Razha’s hand up off of her stomach and set it down over her breast. Razha held her tight and kissed the side of her head, went down and kissed her on her ear, and further down to kiss her neck. She responded to this, letting go of Razha’s hand and turning herself around to face her.

“Good morning, beautiful Razha,” she said, smiling, staring deep into her dark eyes with her light brown eyes. The voice was enchanting as the wind through the mountain trees, but Razha knew the words must be a comforting lie, especially here when she’d just woken up. She thought of what a tangled mess her hair must be--now long enough to start to cover her eyes, but not enough to reach her shoulders. Her face would be the texture of sandpaper, she dared not touch it.

She was completely unworthy to be in the presence of this divine creature. Razha slid her hand down the side of her body, across her impossibly smooth skin, around the curve of her waist and her hips. If she could only have been so blessed. “Oh, Ilyssa,” Razha said. Ilyssa wrapped her arms around her neck and kissed her on the lips before pulling her head down against her chest.

Even though Razha was taller by ten Points, when they laid down together Ilyssa could produce for her the illusion of being the smaller partner. This fantasy was just as good as having her face pressed up against the softness and warmth of her chest, maybe better.

Ilyssa pulled herself away and sat up. “Oh, I have to get ready.”

Razha was lost in the radiance of Ilyssa’s skin in the morning sun as she stood up and faced the window, stretching her arms up to the ceiling. She was the ideal woman, strong and fearless and living with an unstoppable determination. Razha had many times succumbed to the physical allure of a woman, but never felt the draw to build a life with someone. Maybe she never had before known this kind of love.

Ilyssa opened the wardrobe and began to dress herself. “Don’t you have class?”

Razha sat up, keeping the blanket wrapped around her chest to maintain the illusion that anything existed there to conceal. “It’s on the near side of campus, a ten minute walk,” Razha said. Her apartment in the University District was conveniently just a few blocks from the new alchemy building.

Ilyssa stepped into the black pants of her uniform and pulled her white cadet’s jacket from the wardrobe. “Right, and with the construction on the outer loop, I’m going to have to take the long way around on the train to get to base.” With the brass buttons of the jacket in place, she left the room for the bathroom.

Razha got out of bed, immediately finding her warm pants--light brown, too big on her to even stay up until she fastened her belt. Then she made the mistake of touching her face, recoiling at the abrasive texture. She looked down at her chest, the few hairs it grew starting to emerge once again. She followed Ilyssa into the open bathroom and stood next to her in the wide mirror. Ilyssa was brushing her hair into the neat style the academy required.

Moving autonomously in a well known routine, Razha took her shaving brush and whipped the cream up into a foam before spreading it over the middle of her chest. She took her razor and tested the sharpness of its straight blade against her finger. Then she went though the motions of carefully shearing every little hair from where it didn’t belong. She washed the blade off under the faucet and started the process over again on her face.

“You handle that blade so well they ought to issue you a sword,” Ilyssa said.

“Nah, I ain’t cut out for fighting anyway,” Razha said. After shaving her face she started trying to tame her thick, oily hair, while Ilyssa left for the kitchen.

Razha returned to the bedroom, having had enough of the mirror’s judgmental glare. She buttoned up her grey shirt. Finally she wouldn’t have to see anymore of this body that felt particularly repulsive today. She took her moonstone necklace from the bedside table and put it over her neck. It was time to start yet another day as that other person everyone knew her as.

Out in the kitchen, Ilyssa was just taking the steaming kettle off of the burner. “Aren’t you glad I convinced you to get an electric stove?” she said.

Razha shook her head. “Think I’ll cook something over the fireplace tonight.” She went to her herbs cabinet and loaded some of her special blend into the metal infuser and dropped it into her purple mug.

“You were born in the wrong century Razh,” Ilyssa said.

“You ain’t from the mountains, you don’t get it.”

She sat down at the table, and Ilyssa filled her cup up with hot water. Razha toyed with the flower ornament on the infuser’s chain, wishing the tea could be stronger. They were herbs her people used forever, but they could only go so far. But with alchemical technology she knew she could extract and isolate those helpful substances and produce a formula that would change everything. For that she kept getting up every day and walking to class, accepting praise and criticism from her professors under a false name.

Razha looked up at the paper notices scattered across the table from yesterday’s mail--more political campaign pamphlets. “What a waste of paper,” she said.

Ilyssa looked back at her, then turned her attention back to the frying pan, now hot enough to crack a small drake egg into. “Good kindling, though.”

“I can’t believe you’re voting for Mallikus,” Razha said.

“President Mallikus has done great things for the Defense Force,” Ilyssa said. “It’s thanks to him that a woman can even hope to become an officer now. Guess I owe him for that.” She checked the clock on the wall. “I better not be late if I want to make that happen, though.”

“He’s just gonna keep making things harder for us,” Razha said.

“Won’t matter once you perfect that formula, you’ll just blend in perfectly like the changeling you are.” She leaned forward across the table facing her and looked into her eyes. “And once I’m captain of an airship I won’t let any harm come to you ever again.”

Razha smiled. “I love you, Lys.”

Ilyssa walked around behind her. She pulled Razha’s head back against her stomach and ran her fingers through her black hair. “I love you so much, my Razha.”

A knock at the door broke them apart. Ilyssa opened the door. “Come on in, Arik.”

The man who stepped inside wore the same brown and white cadet’s uniform as Ilyssa. Razha stood up, looking him exactly at eye level. He had identical brown skin and dark eyes, and black hair that could probably look just like hers if it wasn’t cut short into his cadet’s cut.

“Good morning, sister,” he said.

“Hey, Arik, good morning,” she said. She was lucky to count on his support as well.

“Let’s get going, we’ll be late,” Ilyssa said, practically pushing him out the door. She poked her head back in and smiled at Razha. “See you tonight, lovely Razha.”

“Have a nice day,” she said as Ilyssa shut the door.

Razha looked over at the finished but untouched egg in the frying pan. “Damn, she ran off without eating again.” Razha finished her tea. “Always in such a hurry.”