✴

“And you are?! You didn’t even have the strength to accept who we really are!” you& sign.

The mycelium vibrates as he crosses the cavern floor. You& back away, but he’s faster--you& turn one way, and he outmaneuvers you&. Your& back hits the wall. A hand touches your& shoulder and slides down your& arm. You& instinctively seize the back of his hand in the listening position.

“You think you did everything all on your own!” he signs in protactile JSL.

You& forcefully take your& hand back and tap his shoulder hard, and slide down his arm until he takes the back of your& hand. “What is your problem?! Why won’t you just leave me alone and let me live my life?!” you& sign.

He lets go and signs the well-internalized speaker-switching sign again. You& take his hand to listen. “You don’t understand me at all!” he signs. “I will make you understand!”

The æther feels strange. The headspace around you& starts to break apart, the mycelial network fractures. Your& sense of up and down falls into vertigo.

What are you doing?! you think.

What would happen if I took the front? Like entering a dissociative state, the world around you& dissolves, like a blanket of soft static noise tingling on the surface of your& skin.

sync rate: 72%

As the æthereal hyphæ find their loose ends and reconnect, headspace starts to make physical sense again. But somehow it all feels different--upside down. Your& avatar reforms--different now. You& reach up to your& head, not finding your long, soft hair--it’s much shorter, and rough, oily, tangled, a complete mess. Your& fingers drop to your eyes, not covered by a visor, but soft and squishy. Descending, you& cross the sandpaper of your& face, and drop down to your& chest--flat. Going down the sides of your& body, it’s far too linear all over.

sync rate: 89%

Good, we’re highly compatible! you& think. I had a feeling, after seeing all your worst fears and anxieties.

What’s going on?! you& think, halfway swelling with panic, halfway suppressing it hard.

Apparently you’re my boyfriend or something, so I thought we should get to know each other, you& think.

Where is Akiko?! What have you done?! you& think.

You& laugh. She won’t bother me now. Feeling your& way around the headspace tunnels, you& find a deep passageway. Let’s go, Aydan, we’re gonna find your darkest memories!

You& try to stop yourself&--Permission Denied. Don’t struggle. If you do, I’ll tell you my name.