✴

As you fall deeper into a dark corner of memoryspace, you try to envisage a model of your& headspace--whatever is engineered can be reverse-engineered. But something is off about it--it’s changing with every node you travel.

You thought it would be that easy? you& think.

So what if it’s dynamic! I can reverse engineer a dynamic system! you& think.

You can’t bluff me, I can feel your unshakeable femboy confidence plummeting.

You call up everything you know about math, frantically searching it. You think of your enemy--knowing Akiko’s special interests, and that this adversary must have access to all of her knowledge...one piece of theory fits the pattern, an evolutionary algorithm.

Nice reasoning, maybe you aren’t completely hopeless as a technopath, you& think. But you barely know what evolutionary computation is, do you?

It’s like computing up against a colony wall trying to resolve this algorithm. Does one year of technopath training make this much of a difference? You think of your current knowledge compared to 9 months ago, and how Akiko is even further ahead of you now than that...

But we’re synchronized! Your knowledge is mine too! You reach to the other hemisphere of your combined headspace. But its shape is changing just like your side, even finding the math you need will be a challenge.

Oh, you think you’re gonna turn my own math against me? That’s cute. Even if you had it in your hands you wouldn’t understand it, you& think.

You don’t know what I’m capable of! you& think.

Oh, we&‘ve got ourselves& some kind of high IQ femmeboy mystic here, you& think. Waste your time if you want, I’m going memory hunting! The darkness of dissociation presses in on your& skin as you& pull open the deepest buried memory you& can reach.

You try to focus on your task, trying to piece together mathematical concepts you’ve never studied from the way Akiko understands them. It’s cold here, so cold, even wrapped up in your& big fluffy coat. Lunar night is harsh. The humidity control system is malfunctioning again--the Korolev snow spreads a wispy white layer over the frozen pavement. Even the air hurts to breathe in, and your& breath is all that can keep your& face warm, wrapped up in a blue scarf.

The large city domes get the coldest of all, especially here, downtown, far from the warm water in the wall. You& can practically feel its biting cold through your& nighttime boots. Your& little legs feel so stiff and weak as you& push yourself forward. One hand is frozen even in your& deep pocket. The other is conducting heat from somewhere, hidden inside your& long sleeve. He’s holding your& hand, walking next to you&--your little brother.

“I’m cold...” he says.

“I know. This is as cold as it gets, when we get to the wall on the other side we’ll be ok,” you& say.

“How much further?” he says, starting to fall behind.

“I don’t know...”

You& glance up above at the frozen stars, swaying in the flowing water in the dome. It feels like the city is spinning around you&. You& struggle to keep your& balance.

“Maybe we can get something warm to drink,” you& say. But if I scan my key, they’ll find me...

No! This is just a memory, you can’t get distracted from your task...