Ætherglow

Chapter 18 Summary


Aydan and Akiko met outside Counselor Xi’s office, preparing for an intense therapy session. Using technopathic synchronization, they planned to delve into Aydan’s mind to recover its repressed memories. After being briefed on the mission, Aydan and Akiko tried to set aside their anxieties about what they would find inside their own minds and dissociated into the æther.

Their systems synchronized into one consciousness, and they settled conflicting gender feelings about their avatar, including some tendencies that didn’t seem to belong to either of them. As Aykiko tried to navigate their& shared headspace, she& ran into difficulty over their& conflicting sensory modes. She& solved this by creating a temporary headspace that could be comprehensible to both parts of her&.

As Aykiko set forth on her& mission, they& were interrupted by an entity emerging from Akiko’s side of headspace, known only as the Creeper. He took on a form much like Aykiko’s, except masculinized, but adopted Aydan’s feminine features to taunt them&. The provocation worked, as Aykiko attacked, but it was futile, as he seemed to predict her& every move, and any damage inflicted to him equally affected Aykiko.

The Creeper opened a memory of Aydan’s, making Aykiko relive a childhood experience of self-harm. Back in headspace, the Creeper, still not satisfied and asserting that Akiko was not strong enough to complete the mission, forcibly took control of the front of their& synchronized system, taking Aydan with him, and banished Akiko somewhere deep into headspace.

Aydan was powerless to resist the entity that had taken possession of ær. He& opened another memory, exploring Aydan’s memories of school back on the Moon, marked by loneliness and a lack of freedom. When he& thought he& saw Akiko in the scene, he& suddenly closed the memory, opting to dive into one that Aydan tried hardest to resist revisiting. They& found themself& in a hospital room, being tormented by Aydan’s parents, while æl expressed leur hate for them and for the fate they had bound iel to. Akiko appeared again, able to communicate a short message to Aydan before the memory could be closed. Apparently the Creeper had procedurally randomized the structure of their& headspace using an algorithm--to escape it, Aydan would have to find the seed used to generate it.

Pressing on with his& own agenda, the Creeper& opened the deepest buried memory he& can find. They& walked the snowy streets of Korolev City as a younger Aydan, along with his lost younger sibling, Alexei. As Aydan tried to determine what kind of algorithm an entity from Akiko’s mind would use, Akiko appeared in the scenario, taking the place of little Alexei. She distracted the Creeper by arguing with him. Aydan saw zir chance and realized the only way to solve this problem was to let go of Alexei, and Akiko, and everything else for a moment and completely devote xer focus to the task. In a moment of ego death, Aydan found the solution, and Akiko used the seed and the algorithm to reverse what the Creeper has done, taking back control of the system.

Aykiko bound the interloper in æthereal cables, and they could finally talk face to face. With some mediation from Aydan’s side of their& mind, Akiko admitted that while the Creeper’s actions were reprehensible, it also wasn’t right to deny his existence, not even letting him have a name. Aykiko gave him the name Anko, and recognized him as a headmate of Akiko. While she& said she& would need to keep him on a short leash, they& had some hope of someday reconciling and being friends again, like they& were as a child before dysphoria had driven them& apart.

But when Aykiko inquired how exactly Anko was able to break free of the confinement Akiko had successfully held him in until that day, all he could say was “Sector,” before a numbing darkness from Aydan’s side of headspace overtook him and destabilized their& headspace. Though Aykiko tried to hold their& synchronization, they& were forcibly resurfaced and separated by Counselor Xi’s medical override--the sync was collapsing and they were both in danger if they remained ætherside.

Surfaceside, Aydan and Akiko debriefed on all that had happened during the sync. Akiko admitted for the first time to being a plural system, and resolved to work toward reconciliation with Anko. Aydan talked of what sie had learned--but neither of them retained any memory of what had happened at the very end, and how the sync had collapsed. Counselor Xi suspected it could have been related to Aydan’s strange experiences which had prompted the investigation of the repressed memories in the first place. But she said that would be something to look further into next semester, and instructed the two to get some rest.

Out in the garden, Aydan and Akiko talked alone about what they had experienced. Sharing their traumas and insecurities on such a deep level had only brought the two closer together. Knowing they only had another year together before Akiko would be certified and leave for her company, they resolved to make the most of the time they had. Leading Aydan to the second year dorm building, Akiko shared with em some comforting food from her colony. She then asked her to spend the night with her, to which they wholeheartedly agreed.

In Akiko’s room, in the peak of post-synchronization attachment, the young couple disconnected themselves completely from the æther, and started to explore each other’s bodies on the surface, quickly becoming lost in Autistic bliss. Aydan, wanting to communicate with Akiko in the closest way possible, asked her to teach it ProTactile language. The first sentence Aydan communicated to her in tactile signs was, “What a good language, it is all about touching my girlfriend.”

TO BE CONTINUED...